The Biggest Milestone!

...has nothing to do with rolling, cooing, walking, or crawling...

Today the Twins are 4 months old!
Today I cried. Today the girls cried. And then we cried together.
We were happy, we were sad and we were in pain.
We woke up, had breakfast and the girls and I talked.
Then the tears.
It wasn't a month ago that they couldn't even coo...now it is like having a conversation at times.

We saw the Pediatrician today.
Then the tears.
Alyvia gets on the scales and the nurse announces 10lb8oz. I could do a happy dance!
Then Ava gets on the scale. Nurse announces 9lbs15oz.
Tears.
For a moment I felt like a complete failure.

Then Dr. S examined both girls.
Skipping the lecture about the growth curve....
I have 2 healthy babies!

Then the Vaccines came.
Then more tears came.
I had to sit and help hold my poor little girl still while those mean nurses inflicted pain. I had to look into those sweet eyes, the same eyes that just minutes before were sparkling with excitement because I was making silly noises were now wide and full of fear, and then full of tears and pain. The eyes that were desperately calling for me, desperately asking me "Why mommy? Why are you letting this lady hurt me" The eyes that make me feel like the worst mom on the planet. Then it's over and I can hold her and make it all better. Seconds later & back to reality I realize I still have to hit the rewind button and do it all over again!
Then the tears.

I HATE Vaccines!

We leave the office. Get to the car.
Then the tears.
Why? Because for the first time in a year. I had an uneventful doctor appointment. I had no prescriptions in hand. I had no hospital orders in hand. I had no specialist appointments to schedule. I was about to take my 4 month old twins home to spend a regular day dealing with nothing more than the normal vaccine fever and reactions. No EEG, NO Echos, No Kidney scans, No blood draws. NOTHING

That to me is the BIGGEST and most rewarding milestone of my girls' lives