My Special Boy!

AJ's Speech/Language Evaluation Results were not what I Expected.

I'm feeling really down about it.

Being a mom is hard!

Eat baby Eat!

Since day 1 Eric and I have kept logs of everything we do for the girls. Every feed, every change, every bath, every time we give medicine etc. We thought with our busy lives it would be extremely helpful. This way if I am busy when Eric gets home and a baby starts crying he doesn't have to ask me when they last ate etc. he can just grab the notebook and look it up. SOOO GLAD WE HAVE DONE THIS! Has become second nature....At night I label the following days page and we start the days over at 12am...so each page is midnight to midnight.

This is Ava's first entry today


I post this just to take note of her bottle at 9:00am!

6oz!!! IN ONE SITTING. My baby Ava, who eats like a bird, took a FULL 6oz bottle!

(Alyvia's chart would show the she only took the normal 4oz; Ava out-ate her sister!!)

EAT BABY EAT!!!

Fun Times with the Big Kids!

The other Night The kids and I put our PJ's on at 6. Cleaned all of the toys and got the wooden blocks and "my first barrel of monkeys" out.

Lauryn would connect her monkeys, count them and exclaim "I DID IT"

AJ Built me a Train Track!

We practiced our colors...& Lauryn was FLAWLESS at this game. My clever gal

"AJ find me the green one"

&

nothing was better then seeing AJ hug Lauryn to show his excitement for her!!!

She LOVED it!

Pretty Perfect Evening!!

FOOD!

Today We had Carrots!!

Ava was ready to for her lunch!
Until She got a taste of what she was having!

After 10 minutes, she decided Carrots were in fact yummy.

Lyv, never hesitated to enjoy her lunch!
&
apparently I do NOT feed at the proper speed because she started to help!

My babies aren't such Infants anymore!
Is it weird that I think feeding the girls solids is like the most fun of my day! Also I get excited picking their food out! :o)

Evenings like this make me excited to watch the girls grow!
They will have a bond that I could never imagine.
A bond that I will forever ENVY.

Which one am I?

When I got pregnant with the twins I wondered if they were identical. (We do not know since they did have separate sacs, but its possible if the egg split at the right time; like 25% possibility) I STILL wonder if they are identical. Eric and I will sit and study their features and try to guess. I still do not know, they look A LOT alike, their feature are so similar Ava's are just smaller. Most people guess that they are identical and I will probably test to find out but for now it's fun not knowing.

It has kind of turned into a game around here.

Let's Play!

WHO IS THIS?

TODAY

I will Hug my children a little bit longer
Say I love you a few extra times.
Not get so frustrated when they act mischevious.
Be grateful they are here with me and able to act mischevious.
&
No longer take for granted what I have been blessed with!

Thanks to a friend I have been following a precious little girl's Caring Bridge Site. This sweet baby girl was born with CHD on July 7th (I believe) I just read the most recent updates. My heart hurts for all of the families who have to go through this with their own and even more for the innocent babies and children.

I have NEVER had to wonder when my baby might be extubated, whether my baby would live through the night, I have NEVER had to watch my baby have an OHS or even worse Pass Away.

My biggest struggle right now is getting a baby to take more than 4 oz per feed! At lunch time today I will just be thankful that I am feeding them in my arms, on my couch, and in our home!!!
I do not even care if Ava takes just 2oz!

Please say just a little extra prayer, or send a few extra thoughts to all of the sick babies or the world!!!

Miss Melissa

Has a nice ring to it?

I have officially accepted a Part Time Position.

I must be Crazy?

Sometimes...

It's not a spoken word that says the most!

18-20 hours in most days you will find Lyv in this position!

If only I could have 5 hours of that kind of REAL relaxation!

The Biggest Milestone!

...has nothing to do with rolling, cooing, walking, or crawling...

Today the Twins are 4 months old!
Today I cried. Today the girls cried. And then we cried together.
We were happy, we were sad and we were in pain.
We woke up, had breakfast and the girls and I talked.
Then the tears.
It wasn't a month ago that they couldn't even coo...now it is like having a conversation at times.

We saw the Pediatrician today.
Then the tears.
Alyvia gets on the scales and the nurse announces 10lb8oz. I could do a happy dance!
Then Ava gets on the scale. Nurse announces 9lbs15oz.
Tears.
For a moment I felt like a complete failure.

Then Dr. S examined both girls.
Skipping the lecture about the growth curve....
I have 2 healthy babies!

Then the Vaccines came.
Then more tears came.
I had to sit and help hold my poor little girl still while those mean nurses inflicted pain. I had to look into those sweet eyes, the same eyes that just minutes before were sparkling with excitement because I was making silly noises were now wide and full of fear, and then full of tears and pain. The eyes that were desperately calling for me, desperately asking me "Why mommy? Why are you letting this lady hurt me" The eyes that make me feel like the worst mom on the planet. Then it's over and I can hold her and make it all better. Seconds later & back to reality I realize I still have to hit the rewind button and do it all over again!
Then the tears.

I HATE Vaccines!

We leave the office. Get to the car.
Then the tears.
Why? Because for the first time in a year. I had an uneventful doctor appointment. I had no prescriptions in hand. I had no hospital orders in hand. I had no specialist appointments to schedule. I was about to take my 4 month old twins home to spend a regular day dealing with nothing more than the normal vaccine fever and reactions. No EEG, NO Echos, No Kidney scans, No blood draws. NOTHING

That to me is the BIGGEST and most rewarding milestone of my girls' lives

Out of the Mouth of Babes~

Will update on AJ's Speech Eval and Sandor Boot Camp tomorrow... I just wanted to share with you the conversation/interaction Andrew and I had in the VERY BUSY and CROWDED waiting room for his Speech Evaluation.

Andrew: (poking my belly) "Mommy, that your belly?"
Me: "yep, that's mommy's jiggly belly"
Andrew" (poking north of my belly) "Mommy that your boobies?"
Me: (trying to ignore his question) "AJ where is your knee?"
Andrew: "I DONT WANT MY KNEE"...(poking again)
Me: "NO AJ" "AJ can you touch your elbow for me"
Andrew: (very loudly scolding me) "NO MOMMY I DONT WANNA TOUCH MY ELBOW, I WANNA TOUCH BOOBIE!!!"

I cannot tell you how many people looked at us BC I was too embarrased to look...

This boy is working his way into never going out with me in public again :o)

DAY 1

Eric and I discussed about a week ago that our house was about to become "Sandor Boot Camp"

We were going to get all kids over the age of 4 months (LOL) Fully Day and Night potty trained.

We were going to get all kids at this address eating well!!

We were going to implement a discipline routine that worked on the kids rather than bribes and begging LOL

We KNEW in order to do this we had to be on the SAME PAGE as parents. What I say goes even when I AM NOT home.

Today was day 1. Our primary focus today was Lauryn and the potty. Through our experience with AJ that is at many times ongoing...we had a plan..

NO DAYTIME PULL-UPS unless we are leaving the house. These just confuse the kid and end up equivalent to even more expensive diapers.

We got up about 9am today and Lauryn went straight from her overnight diaper to her Dora panties (she chose them) Not 5 minutes later she was singing about going "pee on the potty" She spent about 1/2 of the day naked bc the girl thinks that in order to use the potty she must take everything 100% off. Hey you won't get a complaint from me if she's using the potty and not the carpet. We learned today that Miss THANG is fully capable of taking her panties OFF and putting the back ON when finished with NO PARENTAL assistance...This I was unaware of and the NEVER were on backwards...pretty impressive if you ask me! We also learned that she can open the bathroom door, open the toilet lid, place her Dora seat onto the potty, move the foot stool to the potty and climb on, do what she needs and get the toilet paper without assistance as well. SHOCKED!!! Then she can get down from the potty no issue!

The girl peed in her undies ONE time the entire day.

SHOCK is the only way I can describe my thoughts!!

Neither child napped today so at 6:44 when they asked for night night we weren't gonna turn them down! We put a diaper on Lauryn for overnight. 1.5hr later she woke up with a dry diaper asking to go to "pee on the potty" SCORE

MAYBE just MAYBE this will be a shorter and easier road than AJ's Potty Training Road!! BOY its amazing the difference in 2 kids!!!

Now that I sit and reflect on the day...I think Eric and I have been holding Lauryn back, unintentionally. She has hated diapers for a good time now, and OY the diaper fiasco's at bed time...maybe this was her way of saying lets do this FOR REAL mom...I totally think she should and could have been diaper free months ago!!!

And the Toddle Potty NO WAY she wants the real one!!

I am hoping things keep going well!!! They say when a kids is ready they are easy to train...lets hope this is the case because I am Optimistic!!!

Tomorrow we are throwing in the FOOD training dun dun dun...I will have a boy who eats more than chicken nuggets and a girl who will eat fruit that isn't watermelon and veggies that aren't potatoes!!!

Wish us Luck!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen it is NOT the same!

well, I had a fairly long winded post but I opted to delete and attempt a more generalized post.

I could totally handle having Octuplets! SERIOUSLY! I worked in a daycare and 5 days a week I took care of 8 2yr olds 8 hours per day. IT was way easier than you think. I could totally handle it!!!

Seem like a ludicrous assumption?? Yes, I think so too! I would SO TOTALLY go crazy if I had 8 2 yr olds :o)

Same goes:

If you have a 2 year old and NB and are temporarily babysitting another 2 year old IT IS NOT THE SAME as having 3 kids.

If you have a 2 yr old and infant and are babysitting a 2 yr old and 4yr old IT IS NOT THE SAME as having 4 kids.

If you have a 4 yr old an 1 yr old and your 4 year old is "hyperactive" IT IS NOT the equivalent to having 3 kids!

If when you were a kid you had 4 younger brothers and sisters its NOT THE SAME as having 4 kids of your own!

OR

When Julie or Steph bring their 2 kids over to my house and things go pretty smooth. I do not for a minute the "oh adding to is easier than adding to 2" How would I know?

Next time you think about saying this STOP. Consider what it is you are saying. THINK about EVERYTHING you do EVERYDAY for the children you have. INCLUDING the sleeping hours. Don't think just physical. Think emotional and mental. Think about how much you worry? Think about how much you love! Think about how much laundry you have LOL

Make a list of EVERYTHING you do for your existing children. When it is complete you probably look at it in amazement that you even have time to breathe some days! Even when it is just 1 child.

Take that list and multiply it by the number of children you have... THAT'S A LOT of work! NOW imagine the scenario that one of the children get the flu. In a house with multiple children its likely that EVERYONE will now get the flu. SO now you have say 4 kids puking and pooping everywhere that still need fed and changed and loved and taken care of. They all need medicine and doctor visits and constant care. Now mom adds a boatload of worry to her list (is he dehydrated, is he losing too much weight, should we go to the doctor, etc etc)

As a parent of 1, 2, or 3 its a tiring job...

BUT as a parent of 4 I cannot be the only person who takes offense when someone with 1 or 2 kids mention how easy it would be to add on to the family.

I have 4 kids and "easy" is not a way I describe my life. Rewarding is a way I describe my life but NOT easy (then again when I only had AJ it wasn't easy then either) and for someone to assume after 1 afternoon with 3 or 4 kids that it would be easy is offensive! AND NO It's NOT just because I have 2 infants. I am sure parents of multiples can't be the only people who feel this way!

BUT I DO CARE!

When I got pregnant with Twins everybody and their brother's aunts had advice for me.

"Get them onto the same schedule RIGHT AWAY"
"Don't buy two of everything , you wont need it."
"Use just one Crib"
"Don't use matching names"
"Have a Csection it's safer"

and the list goes on....

I listened to a lot of what folks said and I do think we have been blessed. Ava and Lyv are on the same eating and sleeping schedule (although some days one might nap more than the other) but since they eat at the same time, play at the same time, bathe at the same timeish, etc they usually fall asleep around the same time. It makes our lives VERY livable because it means there are moments everyday where I have time without any babies needing anything from me!! This gives me time for school work, housework, time to enjoy with the older 2, and time with just Eric (This is of course unless as Murphy's Law goes...I need them to sleep..then they are typical lets defy our mommy boogers LOL)

We have actually bought 2 of a lot of things! I LOVE the whole twin thing. 2 of many outfits (not always the same color) 2 swings, 2 bouncers, 2 sets of bottles, 2 sets of bibs etc etc and I have found this to be very useful!

etc etc etc....I could go on and on about what we have done as our way to raise our twins but it's not necessary LOL....We have taken the advice that we wanted and discarded the rest. We do what WE need to do in order to make our family run as smoothly as possible. I must say for a family of 6 with FOUR kids 3 yrs old and younger I think we have a pretty darn good system down and for anyone who doubted us (MIL) We have once again proved you wrong. We DID in fact know EXACTLY what we had gotten "ourselves into" and WE WERE and ARE in fact able to handle things pretty awesome! SO NEXT time just keep your judgements and opinions to yourself. mk THANKS :o)

Back from my tangent:

BUT there was one thing that we heard OVER AND OVER AND OVER and several times it came from folks with multiples...

"It's a lot of work, especially with already having 2 so young, but you are going to be surprised at how you will no longer CARE how messy your house gets"

BUT I DO CARE!

Not a day can go buy where I do NOT dwell on how clean something might be. I will stay up til 3am to make it clean when I need to. When everyone is asleep and I have no school work I will NOT just sit down, I always am able to find something to clean. My kids make messes and I am not able to sit at nap time with a messy playroom. YES after nap they WILL remake the mess for me to re clean BUT at least I had my clean room for a moment LOL! I seem to get easily behind on laundry...but I CARE. Even when there is NOWAY for me to get caught up on a particular day its ON MY MIND. I scrub kitchen floors 3 times a week, bathrooms every other day and vacuum the living area twice daily and the bedroom multiple times a week. I reorganize the food cupboard twice weekly and clean out the fridge twice weekly. My sometimes cluttered desk gets organized EVERY night before bed and never will I go to bed with a dirty dish (aside from a bottle) in the house. Even when I am sitting at the computer to do schoolwork I usually have laundry or a dishwasher going.

All of what I mentioned above drives my husband MAD! It's a daily event that he gets to the point of asking me "if I even know how to relax?"

These all seem like normal chores for people so I never found it that odd, but when I talk to others it makes me realize jut HOW MUCH I dwell on things. Because even when it's "clean" it's not "clean enough" and MIGHT I ADD...I HATE when folks including my husband "help around the house" because they just can't do it "right" They can't clean it the way I would clean it...(Example: Eric put new diapers out on the changing table yesterday...but he didnt wipe the shelf first and he put them in the wrong direction and he overflowed the basket and laid diapers directly onto the shelf...so I got flustered and redid it...he also tries to help set the table at night for the next mornings breakfast..oy! In my OCD mind for the kids, the color of the the plate or bowl MUST match the placemat for that day and then the cup and spoon must also match (and TRUST ME WE HAVE PLENTLY of matching supplies) and if AJ uses any nautical or underwater cartoon placemats he MUST have his NEMO vitamins NOT his spiderman vitamins bc spiderman wouldnt match. These are the ridiculous expectations I have and Eric thinks its fine as long as there is a placemat, plate, spoon, cup and vitamin out. He doesnt care if its a blue and yellow spongebob placemat with a green plate, red cup, and normal spoon with spiderman vitamins. So AGAIN I end up redoing it or I WONT sleep. Things do not need redone if I just do them first time..saves us all time!

Do not misunderstand I have FAR from the cleanest house...midday my house looks its worst because that when we are all awake...that's when it looks "lived in" so to speak, but at night when I go to bed and in the morning when I wake up I look around and feel accomplished that things look so good! Its a shame my kids aren't quite as OCD as I am LOL I sometime realize I have some unrealistic expectations but that changes NOTHIGN!

So tell me moms....where is the switch?? How do I turn this obsession off? HOW do I learn NOT to care as much?? I would love to be able to "relax" instead of cleaning BUT I can't. I cannot sit and enjoy doing "nothing" when I could be doing something...

SO, to all of you normal folks....I am JEALOUS :o) I want to not care as much too!

Super Mom?!

Eric came home from work the other day and asked me if I was okay. Said it seemed like something was bothering me. It was. I was having a bad day..AJ was acting up, Lauryn kept taking her clothes off at nap, and the twins hadn't slept a ton so I hadn't got as much done around the house as normal. I will add however that in the same day I was alone from 11-9 with all four cooked a real dinner, gave all four a bath, played with them, read them each a story did 3 loads of laundry and got a good chunk of school work done, so it wasn't as if I hadn't accomplished "Anything" Just compared to other mom's my kids just didn't seem to be well behaved or anything as everyone Else's...(or so it seems....) From that evening I walked away KNOWING that

* I am an amazing Mother & Wife
* I have an amazing Husband and Children
* I am NOT Super Mom

I mean spend just one day looking at my Facebook News Feed and you would NEVER call me Super Mom again.

Apparently I am the mom friend of some child prodigies out there! This is the problem with the Internet and social networking. Just because I have the option of typing that I am 5'8" 123lbs doesn't necessarily make it true. Just Saying.

FB will never again have me questioning my abilities as a mother. I am happy for all of those mom's out there who have the perfect children. You know the ones...the ones who go to bed when told with NO fights, and the ones who clear their plates at meal time, the ones one who hit all developmental milestones right on time or even early, the ones who are obedient when in public...etc.

I am a very positive person. I always look on the bright side of things BUT sometimes I can certainly be a realist.

I love my family. I have pretty amazing kiddos! But guess what? I wont even begin to lie to you or myself about them. Not a single one of them is perfect by the "book"...yep I admit it I do NOT have a "textbook" perfect child.

I have a 3.5 year old who has JUST recently started expending his vocabulary and communication skills. Who frequently has accidents in his underwear during the day and is not near ready for night potty training (even though he wakes dry many mornings) He does not know all of his colors and although he CAN count to 10 he cant ALWAYS, and the ABC's??? He knows the melody of the song and several of the letter but not all of them!!! He throws a fit when he gets told no and he even hits his sister for toys sometimes. Yep...I admit it my kid isn't perfect...but you know what...He has an unconditional love for his sisters and his parents that trump all of the other stuff. He loves Spiderman I LOVE watching him play spiderman and pretend to shoot webs out of his wrist. Hearing him say "sissy you pretty" and "mommy, I loves you" makes not knowing his ABC's a small issue. He might not be able to do everything your kid ("Your" being a general term) does but I bet "your" kid cant make spiderman sounds as good as AJ. LOL

I have a 2.5 year old who, for lack of better description, keeps us on our toes. Now this one DOES know many colors, can talk VERY well, knows many shape, can kinda count and kinda do her ABC's. However; she CANT stand still, she is always into stuff she shouldn't be, climbs onto tables, climbs over gates, stands on the back of couches, climbs into baby swings with babies, will NOT eat her veggies and she too throw tantrums when angry & the one thing that annoys me most of all is she wont keep her clothes ON!! I am tired of walking in on a Stark Naked toddler at nap time...SHEESH I think the girl needs wood flooring in her room, I am over the carpet. While I graciously admit she too is NOT perfect she is pretty amazing. I love it when She "fights" with AJ because I'm "her mommy" not his, I love the way her faces lights up when I mention cheeseburgers, and you haven't gotten the best of Lauryn until you see her in her "princess" (all pretty dresses)this is a girl that can pee on the floor intentionally than 5 minutes later giver Ava a sweet kiss on the head and make the world perfect again. What more could ANY mom ask for!

Then I have the twins. Our little blessings. My little stress makers. These girls have cause stressed since our intensive care stay while I was just 6 weeks pregnant with them!!! I do not have words to describe my pregnancy with them, but I cant tell you that as nearly 4 month old babies they are pretty awesome. They might not be as big as "your kids" (heck NONE of my kids are as big as yours) they might not be as photogenic, the might not talk as much as your kids...but you just cannot beat the smile that spreads from cheek to cheek when I talk to them. I cant put into words the blessing these two TRULY are. So what they aren't the definition of what a "normal" 4 month old should be...I can only say this...They are exactly who they are supposed to be!!!

As a mom I am very proud of my children!! Nothing is a better feeling in the world then watching your child get excited after mastering a new skill. The look in his/her eyes when they figure out exactly where that last puzzle piece goes gives me the best feeling in the world.

For some reason I find that many mom's feel like raising children has become a competition and a game of compare/contrast. I fell into this category at one point. I always wanted to compare my kids to others, but than I learned that no two kids are the same. By constantly comparing (even comparing siblings...which I am guilty of)you will ALWAYS end up disappointed. No matter how hard you try someones kids will always be bigger, faster, "smarter" or more advance. LIFE.

At least if I am honest with myself and friend NOW...next time you are with me and Lauryn throws a fit I don't have to use any excuses (for example: oh she's cranky bc she missed nap, oh she must be teething, she's weird around new people) You will just know that my kids aren't perfect and I accept that and LOVE that about them! :o)

I measure my success as a mom right now by how happy, emotionally "healthy", taken care of, and adjusted my kids are and not by how early he or she started counting. For those who do use this form of measurement; FORGIVE ME please because on your child's 5Th birthday when you announce that he has received his driver's license or high school diploma...I might have to laugh at you :o)

I've Moved

Blog Sites that is.

Bear with me while I work on changing some things.

I wanted a change and I wanted more options. With Blogspot I have a lot more options SO I plan to redesign my blog and start an online diary into our lives :o)

Stay Tuned as I plan to update at minimum weekly :o)